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You need not be angry to assert yourself. Here’s how:
Use simple language. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Empathize with the other person by saying what you think they feel, and then say that you also need to be heard.
Do not attack the other person. Just say how you feel and what you want from the other person.
If the other person is not listening, set a limit and a consequence when the limit is crossed.
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