My Digital Online Diary

Romantic Choice!

If you’re alone right now, there’s a healthier way of thinking that will better prepare you to make fulfilling romantic choices. It involves working on yourself and letting the rest take care of itself. It’s based on four key principles:

• Confront your fear of being alone. Do whatever it takes – talk to friends, exercise, read self-help books, go to therapy, do volunteer work – to know if it’s okay to be alone. Live your life doing the things you love and you’ll find compatible love interests while you’re doing those things. Forget “you complete me.” It’s a tear-jerking movie line that has no practical application in life. Besides, who do you want to be with — half a person or someone with whom you share in common a sense of self-fulfillment and connection?
• Believe you are the prize. Live as if a great relationship is coming your way and it will find you. Quality people are attracted to confidence, not neediness.
• Improve your dumping skills. Do an inventory and get rid of all the negative influences in your life. Tops on your dumping list should be toxic friends. It’s good practice for future dating so you don’t waste time with people who aren’t good for you.
• Look at reality and not fantasy. Especially on a first date, listen carefully to what the other side of the table is saying. People are less defended on first dates because they’re not sure yet what the other person is looking for and there’s less at stake emotionally. Whether it’s the first or fifth date, in their words and actions, the people you’re with tell you exactly who they are all the time. All you have to do is watch, listen and accept what’s being presented to you.